JFO: When I pick the colors for our initials on the website conversation, do you mind if I use dark red for me and lime for you?
DV: Not lime - I hate lime - it dates back to childhood ... and some bad experiences I had.
JFO: Well I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything.
DV: Okay, that's fine.
JFO: At this point in the season, who is most deserving of the Cy Young Award in the A.L. - Pedro Martinez, Mark Mulder, Estaban Loiaza, Roy Halladay, or Mike Mussina?
DV: I grew up a National League guy, but I'd say Halladay.
JFO: What is your favorite thing about Tuesdays?
DV: It reminds me of Fat Tuesdays in New Orleans at Mardi Gras. And it's usually the day I start to feel better from the weekend.
JFO: So I understand most of the men in the house took a road trip to NYC on Saturday evening for Sean's bachelor party. I also heard that the restaurant you went to had all different kinds of meats. In your opinion, what was the best part of these meats - the legs, breasts, thighs, or ... butts?
DV: Turkey wrapped in bacon. To answer the question though, the best meat was pre-chewed by Andrew and swallowed by Seth.
JFO: Wow.
JFO: Do you fear my potential use of side-thoughts in this conversation?
DV: No, not at all. You have my complete and unquestioned trust.
(side-thought: Good, because I'm still thinking about the last question's response and quite frankly, it's really starting to disturb me. Go back and read it again for yourself and tell me - no matter which way you interpret it - that it's not more disturbing upon second read).
JFO: What's better: Kiwi or those Japanese apple-pears?
DV: Kiwi.
JFO: The girls were all at the house on Saturday night and apparently had a "girls night out." Which guy in the house do you think they made fun of the most?
DV: Probably Seth. Because this is before they knew I had Herpes. Today (Sunday) I took abuse because I had a skin blemish on my lip and it was noticed by Jess and then everyone made fun of me.
JFO: What most likely happened when the girls returned home? 1) they all dressed in their pajamas, chewed a lot of gum, giggled about boys, and had a pillow fight? 2) threw up then proceeded to do shots of brandy? or 3) half of them went home and passed out playing scrabble and the other half never returned home - but rather ended up staying over Joey's house on 2nd Ave.?
DV: The first one - followed by showers in groups of three - this is a fact - it happened.
JFO: What is your favorite beer? Bar (down the shore)?
DV: Amstel Light. Parker House.
JFO: Why isn't everyone in the house throwing a big house party this summer?
DV: Uh... you know, it's scheduling problems really - because not everyone would be able to make it and we didn't want to leave people out.
(side-thought: lame excuse - my feeling is - you tardy, we party! So yeah, Seth - get on this and create a party - NOW! C'mon).
JFO: Who's birthday is coming up very shortly and do you think this person would probably like to attend a big-a** party for the house, if not for himself?
DV: Well we just celebrated Bob's 40th birthday party today. And Noreen turns 27 I think on Wednesday - and she's always up for a big-as* party. That doesn't mean she likes big *sses or that she has a big a*s - she actually has an average sized *** ... and likes to party.
JFO: Well you kinda misunderstood the question - it was who's birthday is it soon and wouldn't this person like to attend a big-*ss party for HIMself?
DV: Oh, is it you?
JFO: Why yes it is.
DV: Well yeah, you like big sized parties ... and I think you also have an average sized **s.
JFO: Guess the date.
DV: Um - September 2nd.
JFO: August 26th.
DV: Oh. Can we still be friends? Let's see so that gives me nine shopping days? Well, where are you registered?
JFO: I'll take money, thanks.
JFO: Based on your experiences, who would you rather have an in-depth conversation with a Leo or a Virgo?
DV: Probably a Virgo, because I think I am having one now.
(side-thought: d*mn straight)
JFO: Whats your favorite letter?
DV: V.
JFO: More likely to curse during a trying moment - Jess Foti or that nun who sells biblical products on the Christian channel?
DV: I've heard Jess curse - so Jess.
(side-thought: Jess Foti? Woooooooow! Well, wait - this all depends - Dave's perception of a curse word may just be a little different than most everyone else's. Perhaps "oh, shoot" or "bumpy" is a bad word to him. Well at least that's how I'm gonna look at it anyway).
JFO: Where were you when the BLACKOUT OF 2003!!!!!!!!!!!!! occurred?
DV: Seattle. I was lucky.
JFO: What message do you think this whole event sends to terrorists?
DV: ......pack a flashlight.
JFO: Better dollar meal menu - Burger King or Wendy's?
DV: BK.
(side-thought: A few nights into January this year, I got BK five-piece nuggets and the next day I had a fever and a flu because of them. Wendy's has been nothing but reliable, cheap, tasty, and nurturing to me in the last two years. Thank you, Wendy's - thank you for continuing to provide me with a nutritious dinner three times a week).
JFO: If I say - "Let me tell you how it will be: there's one for you nineteen for me," who am I?
DV: Jerry Garcia? ..... I feel bad because I knew you were gonna hit me with a music quote and I wanted to come through, but ...
JFO: It's okay. The answer was "The Taxman" as sung to us by the Beatles.
JFO: What ever happened to Mr. Clean?
DV: I think they outted him.
JFO: What about the youngest sibling from Eight is Enough?
DV: Oh - Tommy had drug problems. No, his name was Adam Rich right? He was one of those child actors who went on the wrong side of things - you know, drug problems, like all those other ones - Todd Bridges, Gary Coleman, Alfalfa.
JFO: Back to the BLACKOUT OF 2003 - how about that, huh?
DV: Yeah. I was ... proud of the way New York and New Jersey's people handled it all.
JFO: Who looked the prettiest this weekend (in the house - not at the bachelor party)?
DV: I'm gonna say Bob because its his 40th birthday - and he moisturizes - so he's aging well.
JFO: Who would you rather make out with - David Bowie or Hillary Clinton?
DV: Ouch! Is celibacy an option?
JFO: No.
DV: But it has been my whole life! ....hmmm.....I guess I'd say Hillary, but I'd be thinking of David - or no, Hillary, but with "Life on Mars" playing in the background.
(side- thought: Very good answer, but I think I'd make out with David Bowie, while thinking of Hillary watching Bill playing saxophone over Fleetwood Mac's "Cant stop thinking about tomorrow" in the background.)
